


2016 Sucked

by A_Heimby



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 01:44:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9213656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Heimby/pseuds/A_Heimby
Summary: In Todd's opinion, and most of the worlds opinion really, 2016 was a terrible, no good year. All he could do as he sat alone on New Years eve was hope for a better 2017. (One-shot)





	

2016 sucked. It was horrible and terrible on so many levels; from personal, to local, national and international, it all around sucked, and that was the international opinion, not just Todd’s. There were far too many things to even name that made 2016 the worst year in a fair amount of time. The really big things, the things that touched millions if not billions; like huge natural disasters, fires that took out cities, and floods and earthquakes and more, the political, like he even had to say it, the social, like senseless mass shootings and bombings that had most of the world stop as one, then all the other things that just made any decent human being feel sick to think about, all those things were why is was a world united consensus that 2016 could go fuck itself. But it wasn’t just the big things that made it terrible, it was also all the small things that just seemed to pile up within those 365 days.

Todd’s personal pile of shitty things would have had him writing off the year as a whole whether all the other terrible things had happened or not, they just proved as a way to tease him with thoughts like, _“Don’t kid yourself, things can always be worse”_ , or, _“You thought you still had faith in humanity, well, not anymore”_ , and the universes old favorite, _“There are people far worse off than you”_.

Within a year he; had become so broke he literally didn’t have a penny to his name, lost his job which he needed to take care of his sister, walked in on a horrible murder scene he’d never be able to un-see or forget and became a person of interest in said murders and an arson case, watched a man he knew die right in front of him, got pulled into the world of a scary supernatural cult of body swapping murderers, was forced to question all the fundamental laws of the universe, had finally made a good friend only to watch him get shot with arrows and survive only to disappear, had finally told his sister the truth and now she hated him and he hadn’t heard from her since she phoned in a fearful panic and now had no way of knowing if she was okay, had his parents basically disown him when they found out the truth and blame him for his sister, and to top off a truly crappy year he had gotten Pararibulitis and because of the fact he had lied about having it before was too afraid to tell anyone and was therefore going untreated. There was other stuff as well, it just all paled in comparison.

Now, on New Year’s Eve, he sat on his couch contemplating everything, or rather he sat on Dirk’s couch since he had left behind an apartment with the rent already settled for a month in advance and his own apartment had been destroyed, which he couldn’t afford to fix. He was paying the rent now himself, after finding a job as a doorman at a fancy condo downtown, but was still living paycheck to paycheck. He was lucky if he still had fifty bucks in the bank when his next paycheck came through. Putting that out of his mind, he focused mainly on the people missing from his life.

As the ball started to drop in New York he closed his eyes and listened to the chanting crowd and all he could think, hope and wish was, “Please let 2017 be better.”

The crowd roared as fireworks started flashing on the screen and in the distance outside the window. He didn’t open his eyes to see though, he was too afraid to see that nothing had changed from one second to the next and that 2017 would be just a terrible as the year that shall not be named, or worse.

He only opened his eyes when he heard a frenzy of knocking at the door. Confused and more than a little terrified, he approached the door, treating it as if it were a wild animal, cautious and ready to run at the drop of a hat.

When he finally forced himself to look out the peephole he felt his breath catch in his lungs. Within a second he was throwing the door open and wrapping his arms around his sister as he pulled her inside, Amanda returning the hug just as fiercely. As he felt the telltale sting at the back of his eyes he screwed them closed tight and just pulled his sister closer, burying his face in her hair. When he finally pulled himself together enough to speak all he managed was a soft, “I love you, baby sister. I was so worried. I’m so happy to see you.”

There was a small sniffle from her before she whispered back, “I love you too, big brother.” He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt as she added, “I missed you, so much.”

Kissing the top of her head, he smiled sadly as he told her, “I missed you too, Amanda, every single day.”

The hug lasted a few more long moments until Amanda finally pulled away, quickly wiping away the evidence of her tears as she looked at her feet. After taking a deep breath she finally looked up, taking in the sight of her brother. Even though he had a sad smile on his face she didn’t think she had ever seen him so depressed. He had bags under his eyes that almost looked like he had been punched and his eyes themselves were dull and conveyed a resignation that scared her. He was also thinner than could be healthy and slumped like he was carrying a huge invisible weight on his back, a weight he couldn’t manage. He was also pale, paler than even she was. As she took it all in all she could think was that he looked far worse of then her.

A sisterly concern taking over and pushing everything else from her mind, she demanded, “Are you okay, Todd?”

He responded automatically with an unconvincing, “I’m fine, Amanda.” He gave her that sad smile again as he added, “Better now that you’re back and I can see with my own eyes you‘re okay.”

Scoffing, she folded her arms over her chest and said, “Bullshit, Todd. You are clearly not okay. You look worse off than me, and considering what I’ve been through recently that is saying something.”

Opening and closing his mouth a few times, clearly at a loss for words, Todd finally settled on a noncommittal shrug. His eyes shining once again with unshed tears he mimicked her crossed arms and looked anywhere but at her. Amanda felt her heart break for her brother as she finally banished any remaining anger she still had toward him out of her mind for good. It was clear he had been suffering too.

Taking a step toward her brother she forced him to look at her with a gentle hand on his cheek. When she finally had eye contact she gave him a small, reassuring smile before telling him, “I’m back now. Whatever it is, you don’t have to deal with it alone.” She heard a shaky breath escape Todd’s lungs before he nodded once and pulled her back in for another hug. This time she offered her comfort as she kissed him on the cheek.

The moment was broken by the sound of someone knocking on the still open door. When Todd opened his eyes to look over Amanda’s shoulder he felt time come to a screeching halt. His breath caught in his throat, his heart stopped beating and his mind refused to work. As he stared unblinking at the doorway time had no meaning. Things only began to move again, to seemingly speed forward to catch back up, when he finally managed to choke out a quiet, “Dirk.”

That was all the taller man needed to hear before striding forward quickly and enveloping the stunned man in a tight embrace. It took a moment for Todd to catch up but soon he was returning the embrace and then some. This time, as he buried his face into Dirk’s neck and shoulder, he let the tears of relief win out, too overwhelmed to even spare a thought of trying to stop them. Dirk only held him tighter in response as a single, overwhelmed, sob escaped the shorter man.

When Todd was able to once again pull himself together he reluctantly pulled back, positioning himself so he was close to both other people in the room. He opened his mouth to ask a question but before he could Dirk answered it with a simple, “We escaped.”

Amanda let out a slightly hysterical laugh before correcting him, telling Todd, “Dirk saved all of us. He helped us escape.”

Todd managed a single word response of, “Us?”

Energetically, she started to give him an overview of what happened. “Some secret part of the government kidnapped us to try and study us, make us into weapons or something. Dirk and the others had already escaped before, like fifteen years ago. They are all special, like Dirk, The Rowdy Three and Bart, that chick that tried to kill Dirk but then helped save your asses at the Spring mansion.” Stopping to take a deep breath she grabbed his elbow before continuing, “It was amazing, Todd. It was like one day Dirk just knew we could all get out. It was like the universe aligned perfectly. We didn’t even have to fight or hide. One day we just followed Dirk out the door. Every guard happened to have their back turned or were called away at the last second, and every system failed at just the right moment before fixing itself so no one was the wiser.” She was whispering in awe as she revealed, “It was like he knew exactly what was going to happen and when.”

Blushing, Dirk spoke for the first time saying, “Well, yes, the way you tell it, sure. Really though it was all just probably good luck, I think.” He scratched self-consciously at the back of his neck before adding, “Just like it was lucky they knew you don’t have Pararibulitis, Todd, otherwise you probably would have been taken too.”

Amanda missed the look that crossed Todd’s face at those words but Dirk looked up at just the right moment. It was his turn to have his breath catch in his throat as he took in the look of guilt and fear and pain. He gulped loudly as he studied the other man’s face. Todd could see the figurative lightbulb go off in Dirk’s head as a look of unconcealed horror crossed the British man’s face. Dirk was shaking his headed slowly from side to side in denial, refusing to believe his minds conclusion, as Todd shook his own head, frowning as he let out a soft, “Dirk, don’t…”

He couldn’t stop himself though as he frowned deeply and breathed out, “You have it, don’t you?” Amanda, who had by that point picked up on the fact she was missing something, let out a loud gasp as she snapped her head back to Todd, tears springing instantly to her eyes. When Todd’s only response was closing his eyes tightly and biting his lip, clearly trying to stay in control of his own emotions, they both had their confirmation. Dirk brought his hand to his mouth as he let out a muffled, “Oh, Todd. I am so sorry.” There were tears in his eyes as well as he asked quietly, “How long?”

Still not opening his eyes, Todd let out a shaky, “Since the day you both disappeared.”

Closing his own eyes, Dirk also asked, “Has treatment helped at all?”

Letting out a humourless laugh, Todd opened his eyes to stare at his feet and told him, “I can’t afford treatments.”

Dirk furrowed his brow as he reasoned, “Surly Farah would have helped, with something as terrible as this?”

There was another chilling laugh before Todd finally looked him in the eye and said, “How could she? She doesn’t even know, nobody knows.”

Through her silent tears, Amanda chocked out, “What about Mom and Dad? You didn’t tell them?”

Dirk was starting to hate the sound of that laugh as Todd scoffed out, “Mom and Dad? They won’t even acknowledge the fact they have a son, let alone talk to me.” A smirk had never looked as sad as he told her, “They blamed me for your disappearance, Amanda. The last thing they ever heard from you was you telling them about my lie.” Tears started running down his face again, seemingly without his knowledge, as his sad smile quivered and he added in a forced whisper, “Dad even accused me of killing you.” He broke out in fresh sobs as he turned away trying to muffle them, pacing toward couch.

Finally closing the front door, Dirk and Amanda approached the distraught man. Amanda pulled her brother down beside her as she pulled him into another hug. Tired of crying, she fought her tears, softly soothing her brother, “I’m sorry, Todd. You don’t deserve this.”

Between sobs, Todd asked, “Really? You don’t think… its karmic… or the universe… getting even?” Gaining some of his control he pulled back a little to look her in the face as he asked, “You never for one second thought I’d deserve this after I told you the truth?”

Amanda was torn between being offended and pitying her brother’s self-worth as she grabbed his face in both hands and forced him to look into her eyes as she gritted out, “I would never wish this disease on anyone let alone my own brother who is the only reason I’ve made it this far.” She squeezed his face tighter as she spoke in a low and even tone, telling him, “You do _not_ deserve this, Todd. Do you understand me?”

Unable to make himself speak, Todd simply nodded his head. He didn’t know if he could believe his sisters words, but for her he would try.  

Feeling the need to ease the tension in the room, Dirk clapped his hands together before declaring, “We need to ring in the New Year properly if we don’t want a repeat of last year.” He sent a searching gaze over the room before it landed on a bottle of wine that he had gotten from his first client after arriving in the states. Quickly grabbing some glasses and pouring them he handed them out and made the other two stand next to him. Rewinding the celebration on the television back to the image of the ball dropping, he announced, “As we count down to a new year, we toast to a fresh start and to a better 2017!”

As the crowed once again chanted down from ten the three of them clinked glasses before taking a long sip. It was unclear who in the room was more surprised when the fireworks started on cue and Dirk pulled Todd quickly into his arms before kissing him chastely but passionately. There was a startled silence only broken by the television as the two men stared at each other, speechless. It was only a second or two, but it felt like hours to Dirk, until Todd was pulling him back down by his shirt and kissing him again, longer and harder. Dirk wanted to deepen it further but before he could try he was interrupted the sound of a throat clearing.

Smirking with her eyebrow raised, Amanda laughed, “It’s about time you two idiots figured it out.”

Blushing, Todd said nothing, but Dirk, ever making things more awkward, defended, saying, “I couldn’t very well have done that while trapped in a secret military black site, now could I? Not that I didn’t think about doing it all the time.”  

Clearing this own throat to try and get Dirk to stop talking in front of his sister, Todd choked out, “Yes, well, I’m not even sure I knew I wanted to do that until about a minute ago, so…”

It was Amanda’s turn to scoff as he let out an incredulous, “Yeah right, Todd. You’ve wanted to jump him since basically day one.”

Todd let out an undignified squeak of, “Amanda…”, but couldn’t think of anything else to say. If he thought about it, really let himself think about it, that was probably true. He had felt a strange pull toward Dirk since he caught him sneaking in through his window, though the desire probably didn’t start until the next day as they drove back from Amanda’s. He had promised himself he would not lie to Amanda again, so he said nothing, which spoke volumes anyway.

Dirk was smiling that goofy, broad smile of his as he looked down at Todd and gushed, “Aww, Todd, that’s so sweat!” He embraced Todd in another tight hug as he happily confessed, “I feel the same way.”

They stayed up a little longer, chatting about nothing heavy or serious. Todd updated them on Farah, how she had left to travel the world when it became obvious they wouldn’t be able to find Dirk or Amanda. He told them about pop culture stuff they had missed. He even told them all about the new manager for the apartment building and how she actually seemed to like Todd. In the end though, they had all had not just a long day or week or month, but a long year, so they fell asleep. Amanda was curled up in one of the armchairs as she hugged a pillow, small blanket pulled up to her chin. Todd had his head resting on Dirks chest as they lay partially sitting up on the couch, Dirk’s arms wrapped securely around him. For the first time in what seemed like a year, they all slept peacefully through the night and late into the morning. As each woke up to the winter sun streaming through the window they had the same first thought, maybe 2017 truly would be better, it already felt like it was.


End file.
